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1. Felonious and Guinness

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Welcome to the first ever episode of This Week Is Dumb.  On today’s episode we discuss, well dumb things we found in the news, including such hits as;

– How to get away with murder (or not)
– What Taco Bell food is being used for these days
– How NOT to enjoy a weekend (hint: Don’t crash a cop car)
Feel free to reach out to us at garrett@dumbweek.com or yury@dumbweek.com with your comments, feedback or any show ideas!

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | iHeartRadio | PlayerFM

Episode Transcript

It’s time for the This Week Is Dumb podcast.
A chance for you to disconnect from reality for a
bit and hear about some of the dumb things that
we found this week.
Now here are your hosts,
Garrett and Yury. Hi everyone, welcome to this inaugural episode
of This Week Is Dumb.
You know today’s day and age there’s lots of podcasts
out there where you can get good news.
You can hear all the wonderful things going on in
the world,
but we just figured it was time to hear about
some really stupid people and stupid things happening.
Just so you have a little bit of a disconnect
for awhile.
So my buddy Yury and I decided we were going
to start this podcast.
So, Yury, what are you thinking for this thing?
Hello, hello hello, I’m thinking we have a lot of
we have a big pool to pull from and you
don’t have to search far to find these kinds of
stories. And I’ll tell you the one thing I noticed
as I was researching for this week’s episode was there’s
a lot of stories that come out of Florida.
I mean, I don’t know what it is about Florida,
but I feel like we’re going to be talking a
lot about Florida on this podcast.
Yeah, I’ve always. I’ve always been a fan of Florida.
Well, so let’s jump right into it.
I want to tell you about this
first one I found and I love the title of
this.
It’s Florida man is accused of smashing Taco Bell Burrito
in wife’s face during an argument.
Yes, you heard me right.
A Taco Bell burrito. Check this out.
A married couples argument turned into an all out food
fight in Florida and a bag of Taco Bell just
didn’t fare well.
It all started when deputies say less than understanding husband
dangled a burrito in front of his wife’s face,
made fun of her for being upset about having to
force her son to move out of their home.
The wife wasn’t amused. Grabbed the burrito,
throwing it behind her on the floor and surprised by
the flying burrito.
Investigators say the husband then picked up all the remaining
burritos and smashed them in her face,
causing some of them to go up in her nose.
Now come on, let’s be honest for a second year
at least one of them was probably drunk because whoever
voluntarily eats Taco Bell sober,
right? Correct? So the argument?
So does it? What does it say what the argument
was over?
It just says that they were arguing over forcing her
son to move out of their home.
So who knows what this kid is?
Did what this kid did or didn’t do.
But that’s what the argument was about.
OK, so you’re at Taco Bell.
You decide. This is where you’re going to have this
discussion,
and he put you so he pushes the burrito into
her face.
That’s what it says, although I actually do think it
may have been at their home and he just smashed
it into her face.
I actually think probably with the funniest part about this
entire thing isn’t the fact that it was Taco Bell
burritos,
or that they were high capacity assault burritos for lack
of a better way to put it,
sure, but at the very end of the article,
the wife told the deputies that she loves her husband
and their in counseling because they don’t know how to
argue as a married couple.
That was actually in the arrest affidavit.
It’s it’s it’s mind boggling an.
And does that become a weapon?
I guess it would be a weapon ’cause you’re holding
it and you’re pushing it into your spouse’s face.
I mean, what’s what’s the end game there like like
is it?
Is it shut up is that I hate you?
Is it? You know I don’t know what he was
thinking but I can tell you this much.
I mean listen nobody that we know are ever going
to condone domestic violence of any sort,
so for sure, absolutely not.
This guy just took it to a whole new level
of stupid.
On the plus side though,
you re at least the police were able to catch
him before he made a run for the border.
It’s pretty bad here, it’s pretty bad.
So it’s a real saucy.
It’s a hot saucy joke.
You just couldn’t let it go good.
You know it’s pretty bad.
It’s pretty bad alright let me throw one out here
to you alright this is this is a couple weeks
ago but I mean I did come across this seems
to be legitimate.
A man, basically a man,
filed a lawsuit. Are Gary familiar with Hawaiian rolls?
Hawaiian rolls I love Hawaiian rolls with arrows.
They’re delicious. Who doesn’t like him?
Do you know where they’re made?
Hawaii, well, that’s what this guy thought.
And apparently when he found out that they were actually
made in California.
He sued the company.
No joke, a man files lawsuit over Hawaiian rolls not
being made in Hawaii.
It’s New York man father class action lawsuit class action
at that.
So not only did he file a lawsuit,
he basically started a campaign that said if you didn’t
know this and want to join my my lawsuit,
let’s let’s roll with this.
But he he basically said the company misled him into
believing that the California manufactured sweet rolls.
Are made in Hawaii? How many people do you have
to get on board to call something a class action
lawsuit?
How just empty and alone?
Do you have to be in your life?
To even think that you know legal action is the
only course for this wrongdoing that this company has caused
turmoil in your life.
But he says it says Robert Galinsky of Yonkers,
the guy says in a lawsuit against Kings Hawaiian,
that the packaging prominently features Hilo HI on the front,
but the back reveals they’re actually made in Torrance,
CA. So what you’re saying is I could go drive
to the factory from my house and just go pick
them up instead of waiting,
right? Right and and as he says,
he said the packaging misled him into purchasing the product,
believing the rolls to be made in Hawaii.
And the lawsuit states the company is the leading seller
of Hawaiian rolls and essentially invented this category of food.
Sites incidents of the company taking legal action against other
manufacturers for using the phrase Hawaiian rolls in marketing.
Now I guess what I’m confused at is just if
you.
If you knew these were made in California that this
raise you dissuade you from purchasing the item,
like would have not bought it if it was made
in California.
Look man, I don’t really care where they’re made.
Those things are delicious and I will eat them.
All day, every day as well.
Pretty much every member in my household so torrents,
Hawaii, Alaska. I don’t really care.
I’m going to eat it.
However, I do think this guy may be on to
something and I’m going to look at this class action
lawsuit because I want to join in because I’m hoping
the payout is a lifetime supply of Hawaiian rolls.
Well, if they’re made in California,
I want nothing to do with it,
and I’m boycotting the company now.
You know, I’m starting to absolutely not there,
delicious. Hey check this out.
You know there’s a lot of a lot of smart
people and I use the term smart very loosely that
well.
You know we had the capital riots a couple of
weeks ago,
right? There’s been a lot of things that have come
out as a result of that at one of the
ones that I found that just absolutely astounded me was
a Rocky Mount police officer bragging about using Pelosi’s toilet
during the capital riots.
So this guy is an off duty Rocky Mount police
officers name is Jacob Fraker.
He brags to his friend on Facebook that he pissed
in Nancy Pease toilet during the January 6th breach of
the US Capitol.
So not only is this guy a police officer who
was off duty,
but then he goes and brags about peeing in Nancy
Pelosi’s toilet.
So the FBI got a search warrant.
Agents were able to find photos,
videos and messages to others that directly link Fraker to
the breach.
Oh, by the way. Not only is he a police
officer,
he’s also a Corporal in the Virginia National Guard.
Yeah, not really. On the smart side of the world,
there. Not only that, but why is this the high
point of your life?
I mean, why is this the monumental moment,
you know this is your Mount Everest.
You’ve made it. There’s no,
there’s no more going up from here.
This is the peak of your life.
I’ve peed in Nancy Pelosi’s toilet.
Well, you know, when you when he looks back on
this event.
By the way, they were both both of these folks
were arrested on the week of January 10th.
Their charges consisted of 1 count of each of knowingly
entering or remaining in any restricted building or grounds without
lawful authority.
And one count each of violent entry and disorderly conduct
on Capitol grounds.
Now I believe from my research these are felonious charges.
Felony charges for I don’t know what.
How do you say that felony float,
felonious salonius felonious? It’s like phony,
but felonious anyway. And I’m pretty sure,
if convicted, that means that this person will no longer
be allowed to carry a gun.
Is that correct? I would I would say so,
yeah, yeah. So all these folks that were fighting for
their rights to keep their guns have effectively taken their
own guns out of their own hands.
Genius, if I might add.
You know, I I’ve I’ve used many of public restrooms
and you know,
back when I was in college I I once went
into a restroom while Zach Galifianakis was walking out.
I wouldn’t say that that would have caused me to
drop out of college and think that I’ve hit my
peak,
that I shared a restroom.
I have an important question though.
Yeah, did you look over the stall to see him
pee?
Now now now, because that would be felonious.
Oh hey, I just saw an update on this.
Oh, the both the officers Thomas Robertson and Jacob Fracker
of the story have officially been terminated.
Hasta La Vista baby. Wow,
just just wow.
It’s a. Just now, was that allowed to the stupidity
or my amazing Arnold Schwarzenegger in person?
It was. It was both.
Garrett. It was. You’re bringing both to a whole new
level of entertainment.
Thanks man. You know a couple of the other articles
that I’ve flagged,
and it’s it’s kind of a.
A pattern that I’m seeing is this trend with Guinness
World Record.
People trying to get into the Guinness Book of World
Records and at this point in 2021,
I don’t know if it’s a book as much as
it’s just a website and a database.
Anybody can get a record these days,
right? But let me read you some of these records
that have been set and these are all recently in
the last four weeks.
Idaho men stacked 47 bars of soap for the Guinness
Book of World Records,
says teamed up to take on a slippery Guinness World
Record.
Nice on there for the article journalist by stacking 47
bars of Wet Soap in one minute.
Well done to them. Speaking of peeking in life when
you’re peaking in life because you can stack 47 bars
of soap and get into the Guinness Book of World
Records, you know you made it.
I guess I just. I’m not sure where that fits
into on a resume.
I listen if I’m hiring somebody and I’m interviewing them
and they tell me they have a Guinness World Record
for stacking the most soap 47 bars high.
Totally, they go to the top of the pile 100%,
yeah, but do you congratulate them ’cause they got the
47 or as a soap stacked?
Or do you kind of scold them a little bit
and go?
You were so close to that 48.
I would have pushed for 50 to be honest,
just couldn’t do it. You were so close.
Let me throw another one out there to you.
A man chops through apples.
While juggling knives for Guinness record,
it says an Idaho man broke the Guinness record,
broke the Guinness record, which immediately lets you know that
there was a previous record for this.
But he, but he did it to promote STEM education.
You know, good on him,
but he achieved his latest title by chopping through 21
apples in 30 seconds while juggling three knives.
OK, like, well done.
If he missed, that’s all.
I want to know. Like what if he had missed
one of the knives?
Not one of the apples.
What if he had missed one of the knives?
You and I both know.
A lot of folks in that do juggling right?
Share some of our affiliations.
Have you ever known anybody to slip when they’re juggling
a knife?
’cause that just seems scary.
Only when they’re stacking wet soap.
And I’m going to throw this out to the third
one.
British men. This is dated January 8th.
British men. They earned the Guinness Record for taking a
trip on a scooter with sidecar.
So this is this isn’t a record you can break.
And pair of British adventures were awarded the Guinness World
Record for the longest journey on a scooter with a
sidecar when they took a 34,000.
Mile trip around the world 34.
1000 mile trip around the world.
It’s mind boggling. Does the article say how they got
across the ocean?
’cause that’s what I would ask.
They took their Honda scooter and homemade zizza homemade sidecar,
but a journey across the globe that the men said
took 15 months to complete.
They said we knew we would struggle and that was
the point.
The idea was to see how far we could get
with only very little money and the help of a
complete strangers.
The bear said people around the world opened up their
homes to them,
overstaying others peoples homes, OK,
interesting during their journey, and some strangers even came to
the rescue when they ended up in dangerous situations like
being in the middle of an ocean on a scooter.
I mean, it’s really great for pandemic times,
right? I mean, I, I’ve been traveling around the globe
with no face mask,
just a helmet at my side car.
Can I stay in your home for the evening?
Well, I mean back it up even further.
Let’s let’s back it up to the point where these
two guys there are in Great Britain there sitting around
at a pub or whatever and.
They said, hey, what do you do in the next
15 months?
I nothing really going on.
What do you got in mind?
Well, I tried stacking soaps,
couldn’t couldn’t, couldn’t do that.
I’m not good at juggling or chopping apples.
Do you have this scooter and sidecar?
You want to hop in and will just drive around
the world?
Yeah, let’s do it. How many?
How many? How many pints in were they?
As they say, it’s just so funny ’cause all these
articles just linked to another one.
Man catches 54 pieces of popcorn in his mouth in
one minute and that broke the Guinness World Record again.
Well done to Guinness for creating these world records and
well done to the people that break them.
But this a pair of Idaho men broke the record
when they used both hands to throw popcorn at each
other.
Caught in the others mouth.
This is.
A camera question for years.
Yeah, the folks that did the scooter with a sidecar.
Yeah, they were trying to get into the Guinness Book
of World Records,
right? Do you think when they were in the pub
discussing this they were drinking a Guinness?
And that’s the end of our podcast,
ladies and gentlemen, for the one person listening,
we’re sorry we just lost you.
Don’t don’t forget to hit like and subscribe.
Oh hey, I’m going to go back to some some
legal ones if you don’t mind,
Yep. This one comes out of Tennessee,
right? We moved away from Florida,
at least for this one.
the Tennessee Supreme Court has officially suspended the license of
a Nashville attorney after discovering he posted advice on Facebook
about how to make deadly force look like self defense.
Yes, you heard that right.
A woman made a post on Facebook in 2017 seeking
advice on how to handle possible abuse or harassment by
an ex partner.
So attorney Winston B sit and encouraged her to lure
the man into her home and shoot him.
According to an opinion filed by the state’s High Court,
he advised her to claim the man broke in with
a plan to harm her.
He says even with the new standard ground law,
the Castle Doctrine is a far safer basis for the
use of deadly force.
I mean, this is an attorney posting on a public
Facebook site on how to make murder look like self
defense.
Yikes, Yikes. And this was what state now.
This is in Tennessee. OK,
so.
Yeah, so don’t live in Tennessee,
huh?
Not the story actually goes on it posts,
it says as a lawyer.
I advise you to keep Mum about this if you’re
even remotely serious sitting.
Wrote your defense is that you’re afraid for your life,
revenge or premeditation of any sort will be used against
you at a trial.
So following sentence advice, the woman deleted her post,
however not before her ex saw the comments.
Sounds felonious set going to be our new word,
felonious. It’s the word of the day.
Felonious and Guinness, Felonious, and Guinness.
Let me see here. I got a couple more.
Actually, I have one more.
Will keep this one short.
Well let me see here.
Still laughing at these Guinness record things.
You get down a rabbit hole?
Or don’t you? You do so.
This was posted yesterday.
So a zoo in Texas,
they’re offering jilted lovers. A chance to get some Valentine’s
Day revenge and what they’re offering is for $5.
You can pay to have the zoo name a Cocker
Roach after one of your ex is.
How they determine, like can you go visit this Roach
like how do you know you got your bang for
your Buck?
I don’t know.
But it says the San Antonio Zoo said scorned lovers
can pay $5 to have a cockroach named after their
X.
Before it’s served to a larger zoo animal as a
meal so it’s not even when you can go see
its food for some of the other animals.
Yeah, this is. This is the modern day snake oil
zoo.
Zoo said someone looking someone looking to make a stronger
statement can pay $25.00 to name a pre frozen rap
for their former lover before it’s fed to a snake.
And you can also symbolically keyword is symbolically purchase a
herbivore option and will feed it to one of our
males.
So what I’m hearing is that the zoo in Texas
is struggling for cash flow right now,
and they’re doing anything they can to get you to
contribute a little bit of money.
But how many people do you think are actually going
to do this?
I think a ton of people because I think it’s
the same people that pay to have stars named after
them up in the Sky or buy an acre of
land on Mars, or buy an acre of land on
Mars.
And you know, I you and me see a funny
article.
I see underutilized marketing. Agency that is just brilliant in
developing revenue.
Which by the way, for our podcast I will be
offering for $1.00.
I will name any of the pencils,
pens, or writing utensils in my pencil Cup that’s sitting
on my desk.
You still use pencils? Well,
the mechanical ones, OK.
And for $5.
I’ll use it that day,
so only $6. That’s that’s a steal,
right? There? Will you at least take a picture and
post it on social media somewhere for our listeners or
listener for sure?
And you can symbolically?
Symbolically, at another $10 if you want me to feed
a pencil to a snake,
I don’t know.
For all you animal lovers out there,
I’m joking. I would never feed pencil to a snake.
Alright, I’ve got one more and then I think I’ll
be done for the day,
but I want to play a little game with you
on this one.
You re? I’m going to read a headline,
but I’m going to leave out a few words and
I’m going to see if maybe you can help me
fill in the blanks a little bit.
OK, sure. So the title is wait,
we’re going back to Florida,
Florida man crashes car into the Woods.
Now I know this may not seem strange ’cause it’s
Florida,
right? But think about this an what could potentially make
this story more interesting.
He crashed his car in the Woods.
Florida man crashes a car into the Woods.
Did he have someone in the car with him?
Nope, all by himself, all by himself.
I’ll give you a hint.
Yeah, wasn’t his car. First off,
was it a cop car?
It was a cop car.
Very nicely pulled, but there’s one more piece of information
that makes it a little bit more interesting.
I got nothing, I got nothing my man.
Think about what he might have been wearing at the
time.
Nothing that’s right. Sheriff reports.
A naked Florida man stole an crashed a police car.
A naked Florida man stole what footage showed to be
a marked police vehicle and crashed into a wooded area,
officials said. Joshua Shanker of 22 was arrested after Thursday’s
crash on charges including theft of a motor vehicle,
aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer,
depriving an officer of means of communication or protection and
restraining an officer without violence,
according to Jacksonville Sheriff’s Officers report.
Now officers had responded to reports of a naked man
running along Interstate 10 in Western Jacksonville shortly before noon
on.
Thursday and they found Shankar lying in the roadway and
when an officer stopped on the opposite side of the
route,
the report said Shankar then ran across the highway lanes
Tored the officer jumped in.
The car stole the vehicle and subsequently crashed it into
the Woods.
Well, of course I mean,
naturally, you find that odd.
Some people just find that to be an average Sunday.
Another call, maybe a Saturday,
not a Sunday, though again,
it goes along the theme of the day that sounds
felonious,
felonious. Well, hey. On the plus side,
according to the police report,
only about $10,000 worth of damage was done,
so you know. Oh, and by the way,
and this is another shot at Florida,
and if anybody’s happens to listen to this,
and they’re in Florida, my apologies.
But Shankar was held on bail.
Jail records didn’t list an attorney for him.
How much do you think the bail is for crashing
a sheriff’s car in the nude?
100,000.
We’re talking about Florida here.
You re listen. This is the most specific number I
have ever heard and I have no idea how they
came to this.
But I would love to find out.
Shankar was held on 4000,
an $11.00 bail, not $4000 bail.
4011 dollars bail. Such an odd system they have there.
So something calculates like something threw it over by $11.00.
So if you just crash the car,
it’s 4000 and then if he was nude.
That’s the $11.00 kicker. It’s probably because they had to
dry clean the inside of the car to get the
stench out or something.
With a cop car, not an Uber,
that’s fair.
Unreal, unreal.
Alright, well, that was fun.
We should say something fun for the closing.
This is a fun closing.
You’re going to get this out,
right? Yeah, for sure, yeah,
I think. Well, you know I wish you could work
with my buddy who’s an Emmy Award winning writer and
director because he would be able to get this out
in no time at all.
Now we should call him.
Yeah, he’s always too busy for me.
He’s always late to meetings,
true? Well, I think we’ve covered enough shenanigans for a
pilot episode.
Where do you think you’re at?
I think you’re right. Here’s hoping that this thing gets
picked up.
Wait, is that a thing in podcasting?
Can Podcast Get picked up or do we just publish
it and?
Hope at least one person listens.
I think you go for at least one person listening
and if we get at least one listener,
I think we can contact the Guinness Book of World
Records.
Most at most listeners on a new on a new
podcast for the first episode,
I think on a Tuesday or crap.
Now we gotta release on Tuesday.
Thanks Jerry. Yeah exactly exactly well.
Thanks everybody for sticking sticking around this long.
If you have stuck around this long,
you know hopefully you liked it.
Feel free to rate US and subscribe to the podcast
where we get your podcast from.
If you have any feedback for us or you want
to drop us a line,
we actually have an email address.
You can send email to.
You can email me. I’m Garrett@dumbweek.com and Yury
is Yury@dumbweek.com.
Our goal is to put one of these out once
a week.
That’s our goal. Who knows it will actually get there.
And frankly, if we don’t have more than one person
that’s listening,
yeah, maybe we’ll do it once a month,
but who knows. But anyway,
we’d love to hear your feedback on the episode.
Remember 5 stars. Please take care guys.

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